*over a year old draft that I wanted to post now.
happy national infertility awareness 2015
I always seem to wait about writing a post every year about this week, in fear that I've become that person that this desiease has changed and over taken, but in reality it hasn't designated who I am, but it is a piece of me and us as a family. It effects us daily.
2010 was the first time I reached out for a community, I couldn't do this alone. I felt like every time I got close to someone who said they struggle with getting pregnant miraculously pops up with pregnant the next week. Thank goodness for the Internet. I started reading blogs like this and for the first time...
I didn't feel alone
I'm so glad this year we are focusing that our infertility community is not alone.
1 and 8
It can be very personal to deal with and talk about but we must.
I'm very comfortable talking about all we have been through, and now I hope to be a listening ear for others that are going through treatment at this time. Treatments are NEVER easy but having someone giving you hope can keep your eye on the goal.
Sunday, July 17, 2016
Birthdays....
Birthday, it's a love/hate relationship. It definitely is a point in your week/month/year where you stop and think about how far you have come. Sometime we make birthday define us and that is hard.
I use to hate getting old just because in my perfect mind I always thought I was going to be the young cute mom with my perfect cute kids. HA!
I'm now excited to be a more older wiser mom because I have to and that is what I am looking forward to now. A new me, in my 30's and what I want.
When our miracle baby gets old, it for sure gets harder. Another year without a sibling close together, another year.
I had a very hard time this past June when she turned 4. I just hated her getting older. She has really entered into a stage where she just doesn't need me that much anymore. It had me thinking so much of her starting Kindergarten next year.
When I my therapist and I talked through this it was amazing the tools and tricks to recreate a new dream of our future. Some dream I want for my 30's and Brinley's last year in Pre-school.
I have some pretty big dreams for these next 10 years and I'm excited, hopeful and happy for what I want for our family.
Friday, July 8, 2016
JUST a mom
It's been some time that I have been in contact with a new therapist. We have e-mailed, talked on the phone, but I finally decided I needed to come in for regular appointments.
We went over all the paperwork, family history, childhood, etc. What was different about this appointment from other therapist I've seen was I told her what I wanted out of this. I want to learn how to heal, I want to learn how to see triggers coming and how to not completely break down and isolate myself. I needed tools for at least the next 10 years of my life....(then I'll be 40 and hoping my close friends aren't still announcing pregnancy after pregnancy). She also gave me a homework assignment.
We talked about how I still have the picture in my head of what I wanted as a young child. She wants me to write a story from the first time I could remember about wanting to have children.
I'll share the beginning with you since it is easy for me to remember.
I was in kindergarten and our teacher asked us to do a project for back to school night. It would hang above our desk and parents could see them all. We were to write what we want to be when we grow up, what we will be doing and where we want to be living. Such a fun silly thing for a bunch of 5/6 year olds.
I still have mine.
It reads " I want to be a Mom, and raising my 8 kids in Irvine, CA"
I don't remember this but my mom said it was a bit of a war with my teacher because she first told me I couldn't JUST be a mom...that I should write down a career I wanted to be as a mom.
Having a stay at home mom all growing up, I was upset about this! In the end I got to put what I wanted and that was to JUST be a mom.
We went over all the paperwork, family history, childhood, etc. What was different about this appointment from other therapist I've seen was I told her what I wanted out of this. I want to learn how to heal, I want to learn how to see triggers coming and how to not completely break down and isolate myself. I needed tools for at least the next 10 years of my life....(then I'll be 40 and hoping my close friends aren't still announcing pregnancy after pregnancy). She also gave me a homework assignment.
We talked about how I still have the picture in my head of what I wanted as a young child. She wants me to write a story from the first time I could remember about wanting to have children.
I'll share the beginning with you since it is easy for me to remember.
I was in kindergarten and our teacher asked us to do a project for back to school night. It would hang above our desk and parents could see them all. We were to write what we want to be when we grow up, what we will be doing and where we want to be living. Such a fun silly thing for a bunch of 5/6 year olds.
I still have mine.
It reads " I want to be a Mom, and raising my 8 kids in Irvine, CA"
I don't remember this but my mom said it was a bit of a war with my teacher because she first told me I couldn't JUST be a mom...that I should write down a career I wanted to be as a mom.
Having a stay at home mom all growing up, I was upset about this! In the end I got to put what I wanted and that was to JUST be a mom.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)