Recently I have been on fertility message boards. Getting to know others personal self without knowning who these people really are. This is a undergrounds friendship. I have created some of the best bonds with people I won't have otherwise. Old best friends have reconnect through similar situations. I'm so grateful for my support team that is going through or as been through what I have. It can be a long dark road for some and little comfort is out there in the "real word" of have sex and you'll get pregnant.
Tonight I think about my friends who have struggled in anyway (which is all of us) and how our trials have impacted our life. I'm so very sorry for any trial you have to go through and want to take them away sometimes, but then again for those that I have talked to who are almost or out of that trial....you are incredible.
Life was not made to be easy, but you sure made hard look good.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
new meaning
I just found out this weekend
it's not called selfishness
it's simply self- conservation
it's not called selfishness
it's simply self- conservation
He knows me
I have been pondering to share more on this though or to keep it very private, but what is that going to do for me. I've already learned it, more importantly I felt it and know it.
Their will come a time in your life when you are going through some sort of difficulty and as normal you feel lost and confused. Many times asking why? or whats next?
When it gets so dark and we are so stubborn to turn towards the Lord we seek elsewhere. We can feel like our Lord and Savior are no longer cheering for us to succeed in life but have just completely forgotten about us. Our emotions are like a yo-yo. Sometimes we are fine and sometimes we want to crawl into a dark hole for the winter and not come out for a good year. Sometimes we give up on ourselves.
This is where we are wrong.
I was in tears crying when a dear friend of mine who I grew up with told me a few weeks ago about a feeling she had.
We had not talked to each other in years, but still we close. When she came into town and we went out to catch up, I opened up about my fertility issues. She and I sat and cried as she told me a story that happened to hear a month or 2 before our meeting up. She was pondering who she could add to her prayers, not knowing why she said my name came so clear to her. She didn't doubt for a second why? but did as she felt prompted and prayed for me for quite some time. It was a tender mercy, this dear friend who I had not spoken to was my angel. The Lord knew I needed prayers and because my friend was in the right place (the temple, at the right time (when I needed help) she was ready to be my angel. She was very aware that I needed to know this and needed to know whatever I was going through Heavenly Father is right here and is aware of every prayer. I know he hears me...when I'm crying in my sleep, he hears me.
Tonight as I listened from a witness of Jesus Christ, in his talked he made it known many times that the Lord knows what we are struggling with and wants us to show him we know and remember the commandments. It was another Tender Mercy in my life. He may not ease or take away my burdens and trials but he will carry me through them.
Their will come a time in your life when you are going through some sort of difficulty and as normal you feel lost and confused. Many times asking why? or whats next?
When it gets so dark and we are so stubborn to turn towards the Lord we seek elsewhere. We can feel like our Lord and Savior are no longer cheering for us to succeed in life but have just completely forgotten about us. Our emotions are like a yo-yo. Sometimes we are fine and sometimes we want to crawl into a dark hole for the winter and not come out for a good year. Sometimes we give up on ourselves.
This is where we are wrong.
I was in tears crying when a dear friend of mine who I grew up with told me a few weeks ago about a feeling she had.
We had not talked to each other in years, but still we close. When she came into town and we went out to catch up, I opened up about my fertility issues. She and I sat and cried as she told me a story that happened to hear a month or 2 before our meeting up. She was pondering who she could add to her prayers, not knowing why she said my name came so clear to her. She didn't doubt for a second why? but did as she felt prompted and prayed for me for quite some time. It was a tender mercy, this dear friend who I had not spoken to was my angel. The Lord knew I needed prayers and because my friend was in the right place (the temple, at the right time (when I needed help) she was ready to be my angel. She was very aware that I needed to know this and needed to know whatever I was going through Heavenly Father is right here and is aware of every prayer. I know he hears me...when I'm crying in my sleep, he hears me.
Tonight as I listened from a witness of Jesus Christ, in his talked he made it known many times that the Lord knows what we are struggling with and wants us to show him we know and remember the commandments. It was another Tender Mercy in my life. He may not ease or take away my burdens and trials but he will carry me through them.
going back to the basics
Tonight we had a wonderful church meeting, with a wonderful General Authority. It was tonight I realized my change in life. I wondered how a person can change multiple times in 20 months, but I have. I was reminded of a great primary story...
The wise and foolish man-
We learned in the song that both of these men built houses.
The foolish man built his on the sand
The wise man built his on the rock
and then the rains came down (hurricanes)
It hit me like a ton of bricks....
we will ALL go through one or many trials in our life. Those times you just want to yell....Life Sucks!
But we must remember where we have built our life...on God and Christ.
or the foolishness of the world.
When things get hard do we cry and run away and hate life? (well maybe for a little bit to grieve)
or do we take this time to come closer to the Lord and figure out what he wants for our life?
It's hard to put these thoughts into words, but it again reminded me when I was so angery with life and when I felt like giving up, but decided to give up to the Lord first and see what he can make me. Well, I'm far from being at the end, but I must say I hope I have learned one thing..
to be more sensitive to others, understanding of trials and hardships.
I could not go through these treatments without knowing that I have a very close relationship with my Savior and Heavenly Father.
The wise and foolish man-
We learned in the song that both of these men built houses.
The foolish man built his on the sand
The wise man built his on the rock
and then the rains came down (hurricanes)
It hit me like a ton of bricks....
we will ALL go through one or many trials in our life. Those times you just want to yell....Life Sucks!
But we must remember where we have built our life...on God and Christ.
or the foolishness of the world.
When things get hard do we cry and run away and hate life? (well maybe for a little bit to grieve)
or do we take this time to come closer to the Lord and figure out what he wants for our life?
It's hard to put these thoughts into words, but it again reminded me when I was so angery with life and when I felt like giving up, but decided to give up to the Lord first and see what he can make me. Well, I'm far from being at the end, but I must say I hope I have learned one thing..
to be more sensitive to others, understanding of trials and hardships.
I could not go through these treatments without knowing that I have a very close relationship with my Savior and Heavenly Father.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
pampers...
I hope you have seen this. It just makes my heart melt!
Thanks Pampers....you have my vote just because you are helping everyone understand that their isn't just one way to be a parent!
Thanks Pampers....you have my vote just because you are helping everyone understand that their isn't just one way to be a parent!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
A new day, a new attitude
I woke up by myself this morning. I just needed a night to cry it all out.
Here's what I came up with. This is my time I need to be selfish. I don't need to worry about what is happening with everyone else right now. I'm in a good place and need to stay that way for treatments to work with me. I'm excited where Joe and I are at with our Dr. I can't let silly pregnancies make me go crazy.
So for now my friends, I'm being very selfish....and that is how I'll cope with hard times.
and thanks for the comments of love and support I really do look forward to your inspiring words. and thanks for uplifting words through texts even though you know this sucks and what to say it too. You bring me back down to life and closer to God.
THANK YOU!
Here's what I came up with. This is my time I need to be selfish. I don't need to worry about what is happening with everyone else right now. I'm in a good place and need to stay that way for treatments to work with me. I'm excited where Joe and I are at with our Dr. I can't let silly pregnancies make me go crazy.
So for now my friends, I'm being very selfish....and that is how I'll cope with hard times.
and thanks for the comments of love and support I really do look forward to your inspiring words. and thanks for uplifting words through texts even though you know this sucks and what to say it too. You bring me back down to life and closer to God.
THANK YOU!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
it hurts
Gosh, why can't it be me? I feel so numb.
I don't know how of you still do this...year after year and test after test. (infertile friends)
My treatments have just begun and I can't handle another pregnancy announcement.
I literally tears me up and I have to leave and take a drive to calm down.
This is when I realized I have come to that point, I need professional help in my mental state.
So, I'm looking into great support groups on
http://resolve.org/
and
LDS Family Services
breath in,
breath out
breath in
breath out
gotta get some rest for tomorrow, night.
I don't know how of you still do this...year after year and test after test. (infertile friends)
My treatments have just begun and I can't handle another pregnancy announcement.
I literally tears me up and I have to leave and take a drive to calm down.
This is when I realized I have come to that point, I need professional help in my mental state.
So, I'm looking into great support groups on
http://resolve.org/
and
LDS Family Services
breath in,
breath out
breath in
breath out
gotta get some rest for tomorrow, night.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)