Hey friends,
Things have been crazy around here. I can not tell you how emotional draining this month has been for me. I'm still undergoing fertility treatments and doing the best I can.
It's a raining day here in CA and I feel like I'm not doing the best that I can. I still hear pregnancy announcements and even though I have worked so hard to feel so happy for these friends I can't help but feel so alone again. Inferitlity Sucks!
love,
Raining day aubrey
2 comments:
Thank you for the comment. I know it's not easy for you. I was dreading bringing you and my other friends some pain. :(
Everyday I get to thinking it's not fair that a beautiful, wonderful person like you who would be an amazing mom would have to struggle so much. I really do feel that. I hope and pray that one day is your day. Sooner than later....*hugs*
Can I tell you a secret? I've been doing this for five years now. Five years. I have two kids. One through adoption, one through fertility treatments. I am not wanting another baby right now. I am more than happy with my two kids. I'd honestly panic if I were pregnant right now.
What's my secret?
I still cry.
Every. Single. Announcement.
It doesn't matter who it is. It doesn't matter how much I love them. It doesn't matter how long they tried, how much they spent or how horrible their trial was.
I still cry.
Because it still hurts.
You're allowed to be hurt. You're not allowed to act on it, but if you vent to the right channels (e-mail me!) you're okay. And allowed.
It doesn't mean you don't love them as much.
It doesn't mean you're not over the MOON happy for them.
It just means it still hurts.
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