Never written post

I am in such a better place these days and it's all because I have grieved and accepted that I may only have 1 child and I could be happy with that.
Of course, this is all much much easier said than done.
Now, I still have days where I wish with all my might I could be pregnant, but it's a work in progress.  Still seeing my therapist and helping me focus on what I have been given is helping. For me, also my faith is my rock and foundation. I know their is a God and I know there is a plan for me, and every time I have a hard time I have to know that he hears my prayers and my cries to expand our family. I no longer have pregnancy guilt, and I actually have, yes this was really hard for me, but I have held babies in the last month and enjoyed it, instead of being bitter and angry. We are definitely working on other things in our life that we want and getting all of our medical bills paid off before we return to having a 2nd child, weather it will be through IVF, donor egg, or adoption.
It's been a long 18 months doing treatments almost every month but we have change and changed for the better. I have met some amazing friends and have a community around us that cheer us on. Thank you all for being a friend, a reader, and hoping to understand emotional trails that some have to deal with.