Written on Sep. 25, 2011
Since Friday I have been giving myself progesterone pills, not orally but vaginally. I've been hoping this works. I just got my call about my my blood work from this morning.
The best news in the world:
my HCG levels almost doubled!!! they went from 18 to 32!!! I don't care about the number anymore as long as it's getting higher!
The hard news is my progesterone is the same and I can not continue to carry this baby if my progesterone doesn't get higher too.
So, tomorrow they are switching me to the oil base. I have to go and learn how to give myself a shot and hope that gets my progesterone up. This baby is a fighter! We are learning this all and this new world seems so foreign to me, but I am beyond thrilled to be here, lying in bed. I was told to take it easy so I thought bed rest was the best way to do so.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Beta prison
written on Sep. 26, 2011
So yesterday was exciting, but after a few hours looking online I just got so depressed. No one ever said they had as low of a number as mine. Everyone was well into the hundreds. The worst I saw was 57, ya not to great, but compared to my 18...I look pathetic. It was hard to stay positive. At the same time I read that with only 1 beta (blood test) you can not compare because you don't know what your numbers are doing and as long as they are going up you are good. So now I just have to wait until tomorrow and pray that they go up, hopefully double but at least go up. Anything lower then they expect a miscarriage soon. so scary, and can't sleep. I feel like I am in prison with my beta numbers.
When they do a blood test usually they hope to see over 12, they considered that pregnant. Usually if the number is on the low side you are most likely going to miscarry or beat the odds.
For this reason alone, I did not get excited at all. I was going to wait until I saw an ultrasound to know and believe that I am pregnant.
So yesterday was exciting, but after a few hours looking online I just got so depressed. No one ever said they had as low of a number as mine. Everyone was well into the hundreds. The worst I saw was 57, ya not to great, but compared to my 18...I look pathetic. It was hard to stay positive. At the same time I read that with only 1 beta (blood test) you can not compare because you don't know what your numbers are doing and as long as they are going up you are good. So now I just have to wait until tomorrow and pray that they go up, hopefully double but at least go up. Anything lower then they expect a miscarriage soon. so scary, and can't sleep. I feel like I am in prison with my beta numbers.
When they do a blood test usually they hope to see over 12, they considered that pregnant. Usually if the number is on the low side you are most likely going to miscarry or beat the odds.
For this reason alone, I did not get excited at all. I was going to wait until I saw an ultrasound to know and believe that I am pregnant.
The call...
Written on : Sep. 23, 2011
I have been waiting for the nurse to call all day.
My husband and mom did everything they could to keep me busy. The best thing was all the fall TV shows started up again this week and we watched a few up and coming shows.
When my phone finally rang I ran away into the office to get the news.
Deep in my gut I knew I was pregnant, but I had gotten a neg test this morning so I was so confused!
I answered my phone and my friend from high school who works at the office called first to tell me slowly, you are pregnant, BUT your numbers are on the low side so they want to do more.
I tried to take a deep breath and realized what I was feeling was right, but that I still had to overcome some things in my way.
When the nurse called me she told me the same thing and set me up for another blood work on Sunday in 2 days and wanted me to come over to get my vaginal pills for progesterone.
So 1st time IUI with clomid and HCG shot it is a positive!
We are Expecting!!!!!
I have been waiting for the nurse to call all day.
My husband and mom did everything they could to keep me busy. The best thing was all the fall TV shows started up again this week and we watched a few up and coming shows.
When my phone finally rang I ran away into the office to get the news.
Deep in my gut I knew I was pregnant, but I had gotten a neg test this morning so I was so confused!
I answered my phone and my friend from high school who works at the office called first to tell me slowly, you are pregnant, BUT your numbers are on the low side so they want to do more.
I tried to take a deep breath and realized what I was feeling was right, but that I still had to overcome some things in my way.
When the nurse called me she told me the same thing and set me up for another blood work on Sunday in 2 days and wanted me to come over to get my vaginal pills for progesterone.
So 1st time IUI with clomid and HCG shot it is a positive!
We are Expecting!!!!!
Saturday, November 19, 2011
pins and needles...
Written on : Sept. 23, 2011
I need to hurry and write down my feelings before the nurse calls to give me news...
I haven't slept well this whole week. Usually up around 5 or 6 and back to sleep at 7 to 9. It's been hard having feelings down there and not knowing if my period was going to start any second. I've been happy and confident that this worked this time and then I've been so low and scared that I'm still going on with treatments. All in all my family and friends are the ones that got to me today (Friday) my blood test! Everything keeps going over in my head, with all the signs I have to be pregnant, but what if I'm not...can I really fool my brain that much to think I am. (That wouldn't surprise me)
I'm trying to figure out who I need to tell and who I need to lie to. I've been so open about my infertility treatments that I never thought what I need to do when I do get pregnant. I have always been sure in waiting until I'm out of the 1st trimester to announce my pregnancy (especially with all the drugs and test I've been through you never know what your body will do).
I need to hurry and write down my feelings before the nurse calls to give me news...
I haven't slept well this whole week. Usually up around 5 or 6 and back to sleep at 7 to 9. It's been hard having feelings down there and not knowing if my period was going to start any second. I've been happy and confident that this worked this time and then I've been so low and scared that I'm still going on with treatments. All in all my family and friends are the ones that got to me today (Friday) my blood test! Everything keeps going over in my head, with all the signs I have to be pregnant, but what if I'm not...can I really fool my brain that much to think I am. (That wouldn't surprise me)
I'm trying to figure out who I need to tell and who I need to lie to. I've been so open about my infertility treatments that I never thought what I need to do when I do get pregnant. I have always been sure in waiting until I'm out of the 1st trimester to announce my pregnancy (especially with all the drugs and test I've been through you never know what your body will do).
Friday, November 18, 2011
2WW
written on : Sep. 20, 2011
Anyone who has every tried to get pregnant and wait to take an at home pregnancy test knows about the
2 Week Wait
Their is nothing you can do now but wait...and see.
It's a hard time. For the past 20 months I have been very anxious during this 2WW, luckily I wasn't until the last week, just days away from finding out.
I started feeling some symptoms
These symptoms are just alike to your period symptoms, so it throws you off every time. Of course one this has been different this time.
Implantation bleeding
Justmommies.com says this:
After ovulation the egg travels into the uterus and burrows into the lining of the uterus. For some women implantation will cause slight bleeding or spotting. This is called implantation bleeding. This is sometimes confused for an early period.
So far I have not had an early period and we are calling it implatation bleeding!!!
This is great news. I understand Miscarriages can still happen at any given time so I can't be to excited, and I haven't had my dr. confirm the pregnancy, but golly guys things are looking good right now and I'm beaming on the inside.
Just a few more days and we will know!
Anyone who has every tried to get pregnant and wait to take an at home pregnancy test knows about the
2 Week Wait
Their is nothing you can do now but wait...and see.
It's a hard time. For the past 20 months I have been very anxious during this 2WW, luckily I wasn't until the last week, just days away from finding out.
I started feeling some symptoms
These symptoms are just alike to your period symptoms, so it throws you off every time. Of course one this has been different this time.
Implantation bleeding
Justmommies.com says this:
After ovulation the egg travels into the uterus and burrows into the lining of the uterus. For some women implantation will cause slight bleeding or spotting. This is called implantation bleeding. This is sometimes confused for an early period.
So far I have not had an early period and we are calling it implatation bleeding!!!
This is great news. I understand Miscarriages can still happen at any given time so I can't be to excited, and I haven't had my dr. confirm the pregnancy, but golly guys things are looking good right now and I'm beaming on the inside.
Just a few more days and we will know!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Whoo hoo- good blood levels
Written on Sept. 16, 2011
So I went into the Dr. this morning to get my blood drawn and see how my progesterone levels are. If they are low I have to go on more meds, but that won't be the case because they called and told me the great news!!
They hope your levels are above 10 at this time and mine are 22!!! That calls for a celebration. Out to dinner with friends we go!
So I went into the Dr. this morning to get my blood drawn and see how my progesterone levels are. If they are low I have to go on more meds, but that won't be the case because they called and told me the great news!!
They hope your levels are above 10 at this time and mine are 22!!! That calls for a celebration. Out to dinner with friends we go!
Saturday, November 12, 2011
My 1st IUI
written on September 10, 2011
It's been a few days....so let me take you back to my first dr. app after taking clomid.
It was Wednesday morning and my husband and I went in to see my RE and do an ultrasound to see how many eggs we were getting. He very quickly showed us 1 big mature one ready for ovulation, 2 medium ones and a small one. He wanted to wait 1 more day to see if the medium ones get any bigger.
So we came back the next morning (Thursday) and did the ultra sound right away and found out I had ovulated and the big one had dropped. I was scared at first because I didn't know if we could still do the IUI. but my good, highly skilled (20 years under his belt) Dr. said we were fine.
He did want to do the IUI today to see if we can fertilize that first egg. The nurse gave me the HCG shot in my hip to help me ovulate again within the next 36 hours. Then we made my husband give up his guys.
Everything seemed like a pap smear. and they took the swimmers and washed them and put them in a needle with a catheter to place all the way up inside my uterus! We got 17 1/2 MILLION swimmers (this is a huge shocker...normal intercourse can get you a few hundered up to the uterus, but the IUI can place millions in the uterus. They hope to get 10-20 million, so with 17 million we were looking good!)
It took a bit longer because I have a "high maintenance cervix" unless you spent a good 10-20 mins. looking for it, you can't find it. Plus I have some curve balls in there. (could be our reason for infertility...we are still known as unexplained infertility)
So we went home and rested the rest of the day.
Here's the funny story,
because of my high maintenance cervix I was very tense for a long time and cause some of my muscles to stay tight the whole time (my left butt cheek) I did not realized this until we were at home and I was in pain every time I stood up, walked around or sat on my butt. My husband even tried to rub it out, but I laid there kicking and screaming and laughing out loud because of the pain. I could not walk without feeling the burning of the butt. and even into the next day.
Then came a black out at 3:30pm....all of So. CA lost power for a while. It wasn't until 11:30 pm that they came back on.
But because of the power outage we had to switch our location! Luckily our Dr. is awesome and has 2 locations! 1- in Newport Beach and 2- Mission Viejo (ours) So our appt. got moved up to 7:45 with a 40 min. morning commute with the Mr.'s swimmers!
oh the morning just made us laugh.
Friday morning-
The office was pack because they had to double book everyone and deal with multiple dr's in one location.
The husband gave them his guys to get all cleaned up and we had about 13 million this time.
We did the ultrasound and saw that the medium ones dropped and the small one became bigger! great news!
So we got ready for an 2nd IUI.
This time I tried to stay relax as the very nice nurse told me that I am one only patient with a cervix so hard to find. (lovely) I did warn her about my high maintenance cervix .
We went home and did some more resting to hopefully give these babies a chance to make it.
All in all....this was a great 1st treatment and I have been so happy with my Dr.
It's been a few days....so let me take you back to my first dr. app after taking clomid.
It was Wednesday morning and my husband and I went in to see my RE and do an ultrasound to see how many eggs we were getting. He very quickly showed us 1 big mature one ready for ovulation, 2 medium ones and a small one. He wanted to wait 1 more day to see if the medium ones get any bigger.
So we came back the next morning (Thursday) and did the ultra sound right away and found out I had ovulated and the big one had dropped. I was scared at first because I didn't know if we could still do the IUI. but my good, highly skilled (20 years under his belt) Dr. said we were fine.
He did want to do the IUI today to see if we can fertilize that first egg. The nurse gave me the HCG shot in my hip to help me ovulate again within the next 36 hours. Then we made my husband give up his guys.
Everything seemed like a pap smear. and they took the swimmers and washed them and put them in a needle with a catheter to place all the way up inside my uterus! We got 17 1/2 MILLION swimmers (this is a huge shocker...normal intercourse can get you a few hundered up to the uterus, but the IUI can place millions in the uterus. They hope to get 10-20 million, so with 17 million we were looking good!)
It took a bit longer because I have a "high maintenance cervix" unless you spent a good 10-20 mins. looking for it, you can't find it. Plus I have some curve balls in there. (could be our reason for infertility...we are still known as unexplained infertility)
So we went home and rested the rest of the day.
Here's the funny story,
because of my high maintenance cervix I was very tense for a long time and cause some of my muscles to stay tight the whole time (my left butt cheek) I did not realized this until we were at home and I was in pain every time I stood up, walked around or sat on my butt. My husband even tried to rub it out, but I laid there kicking and screaming and laughing out loud because of the pain. I could not walk without feeling the burning of the butt. and even into the next day.
Then came a black out at 3:30pm....all of So. CA lost power for a while. It wasn't until 11:30 pm that they came back on.
But because of the power outage we had to switch our location! Luckily our Dr. is awesome and has 2 locations! 1- in Newport Beach and 2- Mission Viejo (ours) So our appt. got moved up to 7:45 with a 40 min. morning commute with the Mr.'s swimmers!
oh the morning just made us laugh.
Friday morning-
The office was pack because they had to double book everyone and deal with multiple dr's in one location.
The husband gave them his guys to get all cleaned up and we had about 13 million this time.
We did the ultrasound and saw that the medium ones dropped and the small one became bigger! great news!
So we got ready for an 2nd IUI.
This time I tried to stay relax as the very nice nurse told me that I am one only patient with a cervix so hard to find. (lovely) I did warn her about my high maintenance cervix .
We went home and did some more resting to hopefully give these babies a chance to make it.
All in all....this was a great 1st treatment and I have been so happy with my Dr.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
well the rest of the week on clomid
written on Aug. 4, 2011
It wasn't that bad.
Well, that is until my friend who has doing the same thing told me the first month you don't get many of the side effects. Darn, I though I missed out on that beauty.
I'm still holding out that I don't have morning sickness like my mom. But, you never know what cards you are dealt with!
I have to say this first month on clomid I had to deal with a lot of hot flashes and a few headaches here and there. Now, I sit and wait until the next ultrasound.
I've been very blessed to have a friend going through the same process day by day with me and a few friends that have been to my dr and know what he'll want to do next.
So I'm always nervous what is next and what I need to get done. Theirs only so much you can do and then wait and do a little more then wait...and wait.
Just like I have my friends to turn to and ask a million questions, I want those that find themselves in this journey to not feel alone. feel free to always email me no matter how far ago I started with my fertility dr.
It wasn't that bad.
Well, that is until my friend who has doing the same thing told me the first month you don't get many of the side effects. Darn, I though I missed out on that beauty.
I'm still holding out that I don't have morning sickness like my mom. But, you never know what cards you are dealt with!
I have to say this first month on clomid I had to deal with a lot of hot flashes and a few headaches here and there. Now, I sit and wait until the next ultrasound.
I've been very blessed to have a friend going through the same process day by day with me and a few friends that have been to my dr and know what he'll want to do next.
So I'm always nervous what is next and what I need to get done. Theirs only so much you can do and then wait and do a little more then wait...and wait.
Just like I have my friends to turn to and ask a million questions, I want those that find themselves in this journey to not feel alone. feel free to always email me no matter how far ago I started with my fertility dr.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
CD-4 Clomid brings.....
Written on: Aug 31, 2011
Hot Flashes!
I have to say I am feeling pretty good (knock on wood!). You can read and hear all kinds of crazy things on google. I'm the worst because if I have a question I Google it and guess what? others have the same questions and some answers are good, some are funny to read and some are just a foreign language.
Wait, as I type I am getting a good ol hot flash. My whole body feels hot and I sweat on my back and somach but cool down sooner after. It's the weirdest thing. oh well...I don't mind them.
I don't know if first month on clomid you are actually really happy just because you are taking some good drugs that will hopefully give you babies or I'm just happy?
Let see what day 3 will bring
Hot Flashes!
I have to say I am feeling pretty good (knock on wood!). You can read and hear all kinds of crazy things on google. I'm the worst because if I have a question I Google it and guess what? others have the same questions and some answers are good, some are funny to read and some are just a foreign language.
Wait, as I type I am getting a good ol hot flash. My whole body feels hot and I sweat on my back and somach but cool down sooner after. It's the weirdest thing. oh well...I don't mind them.
I don't know if first month on clomid you are actually really happy just because you are taking some good drugs that will hopefully give you babies or I'm just happy?
Let see what day 3 will bring
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Clomid, the drug of our choice
Written: Aug 30, 2011
I feel like all I do is read up on IUI, and IVF and any infertility stuff I can get my hands on, and still with everything I read I have no clue what is going on.
I am so grateful for a close friend who is going through the exact same treatments as me at the exact day, just for her #th time. She has been my go to nurse I call with all my questions. She has been there and is still there and we are each others' cheerleaders.
So, I started Clomid for the first time every last night. I was surprised because when I first saw my RE he said we would start on 50mg a day for 5 days, but then yesterday he said we were going to do 100mg! I was excited we are trying our hardest on the first round. I took it at night, because my good friend told me to, it can make you sleepy. I was working this morning and felt fine. It wasn't until lunch time I got a bad headache and felt nausea, and to make it worst I was out quilt shopping with my mom and her friends far away from home. After just trying to think about breathing and not throwing up in front of everyone I started to feel better, whoo that's just day 1 with this stuff. Bring on the hot flashes!
I feel like all I do is read up on IUI, and IVF and any infertility stuff I can get my hands on, and still with everything I read I have no clue what is going on.
I am so grateful for a close friend who is going through the exact same treatments as me at the exact day, just for her #th time. She has been my go to nurse I call with all my questions. She has been there and is still there and we are each others' cheerleaders.
So, I started Clomid for the first time every last night. I was surprised because when I first saw my RE he said we would start on 50mg a day for 5 days, but then yesterday he said we were going to do 100mg! I was excited we are trying our hardest on the first round. I took it at night, because my good friend told me to, it can make you sleepy. I was working this morning and felt fine. It wasn't until lunch time I got a bad headache and felt nausea, and to make it worst I was out quilt shopping with my mom and her friends far away from home. After just trying to think about breathing and not throwing up in front of everyone I started to feel better, whoo that's just day 1 with this stuff. Bring on the hot flashes!
Saturday, October 29, 2011
HSG test
Written on: Aug 10, 2011
Man, today was a very hard day.
When we went to see Dr. Anderson last time we wanted to schedule the IUI as soon as possible. I first had to finish a few test.
Lab work here
Sperm there
and HSG test.
Then I thought we would move on to IUI and everything would be just fine.
I had no worries about the test.
I talked to a dear friend of mine more about it and she told me not to worry, that it would just stress me out more (so glad I listened to her).
I made sure Joe got me there in plenty time. I was just anxious to get this over with. When they called my name I went in the back, they told me where to undress and what to put on. I walked into a big room after and it had 1 bed in the middle of this big room. A few machines were around that looked so expensive I couldn't imagine the millions of dollars it cost. As I laid on the bed, I noticed the ceiling had two missing lights and they were replaced with a beautiful palm tree with blue blue skies.
I thought perfect, I will just imagine Joe and I on a beach and enjoying a vacation. The nursed explained everything to me, then a hospital dr came in and did the same thing in more detail. (by this time I was getting a bit cold and ready to get this over with)
Just like a pap, just like a pap....I kept telling myself that.
Then things got uncomfortable then I thought I have to convince myself that this is all for my babies...think about how bad I want a family and to be a mom and make Joe so proud. This will all pay off because it is getting me the help I need.
I then remembered my friend telling me "it's quick, no time at all"
this wasn't going so quick. I just tried to keep my mind focus and do anything the dr needed me to.
After 20mins or so I could hear him mumble under his breath "so this could be the problem"
I knew right then, I have my answer I have been waiting for.
and now, I don't want it.
The dr took everything out and explained he could not do the procedure. I had some sort of blockage. I remember feeling shocked. I asked him if he would try some more. I just wanted this to work so bad. He kindly explained to me that is what he has been doing and nothing is working. He then told me this is what he does everyday, he would then make notes and send the images to my specialist. Then he walked out of the room and the nurse helped me to the bathroom to change.
I took my time and cried.
I changed and she insisted walking me back to the waiting room to meet with Joe. The room was packed by now and he was reading his book. I tapped him on the shoulder then booked it out the door. Just a few steps outside the hospital I started bawling. Trying to just tell Joe what happened to me. It's my fault....we have our answer...our plan isn't going to work anymore and we need a back up.
I spent the rest of the afternoon in bed, googling, crying, sleeping and frustrated.
my eyes are spent and my head is lacking air.
This hasn't been a good day at all.
Man, today was a very hard day.
When we went to see Dr. Anderson last time we wanted to schedule the IUI as soon as possible. I first had to finish a few test.
Lab work here
Sperm there
and HSG test.
Then I thought we would move on to IUI and everything would be just fine.
I had no worries about the test.
I talked to a dear friend of mine more about it and she told me not to worry, that it would just stress me out more (so glad I listened to her).
I made sure Joe got me there in plenty time. I was just anxious to get this over with. When they called my name I went in the back, they told me where to undress and what to put on. I walked into a big room after and it had 1 bed in the middle of this big room. A few machines were around that looked so expensive I couldn't imagine the millions of dollars it cost. As I laid on the bed, I noticed the ceiling had two missing lights and they were replaced with a beautiful palm tree with blue blue skies.
I thought perfect, I will just imagine Joe and I on a beach and enjoying a vacation. The nursed explained everything to me, then a hospital dr came in and did the same thing in more detail. (by this time I was getting a bit cold and ready to get this over with)
Just like a pap, just like a pap....I kept telling myself that.
Then things got uncomfortable then I thought I have to convince myself that this is all for my babies...think about how bad I want a family and to be a mom and make Joe so proud. This will all pay off because it is getting me the help I need.
I then remembered my friend telling me "it's quick, no time at all"
this wasn't going so quick. I just tried to keep my mind focus and do anything the dr needed me to.
After 20mins or so I could hear him mumble under his breath "so this could be the problem"
I knew right then, I have my answer I have been waiting for.
and now, I don't want it.
The dr took everything out and explained he could not do the procedure. I had some sort of blockage. I remember feeling shocked. I asked him if he would try some more. I just wanted this to work so bad. He kindly explained to me that is what he has been doing and nothing is working. He then told me this is what he does everyday, he would then make notes and send the images to my specialist. Then he walked out of the room and the nurse helped me to the bathroom to change.
I took my time and cried.
I changed and she insisted walking me back to the waiting room to meet with Joe. The room was packed by now and he was reading his book. I tapped him on the shoulder then booked it out the door. Just a few steps outside the hospital I started bawling. Trying to just tell Joe what happened to me. It's my fault....we have our answer...our plan isn't going to work anymore and we need a back up.
I spent the rest of the afternoon in bed, googling, crying, sleeping and frustrated.
my eyes are spent and my head is lacking air.
This hasn't been a good day at all.
Friday, October 28, 2011
HSG
Written on : Aug. 9, 2011
Well, tomorrow (aug, 9) I'm having the HSG. Although this is not part of our official infertility part this is a work up to see whats going on up in me. I will have dye go up in me and x-rays taken to see how open things are going. It's a pretty quick procedure I hear, but a bit painful. I've had to take antibiotics for the past 2 days and continue after, and some pain meds tomorrow before I go in.
I'm not worried about it at all, but I did start thinking of what happens if they fine something they aren't suppose to. (all the test I've had done so far have come back fine, nothing wrong) what if now?
Well, tomorrow (aug, 9) I'm having the HSG. Although this is not part of our official infertility part this is a work up to see whats going on up in me. I will have dye go up in me and x-rays taken to see how open things are going. It's a pretty quick procedure I hear, but a bit painful. I've had to take antibiotics for the past 2 days and continue after, and some pain meds tomorrow before I go in.
I'm not worried about it at all, but I did start thinking of what happens if they fine something they aren't suppose to. (all the test I've had done so far have come back fine, nothing wrong) what if now?
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Blood work time
Written on : Aug. 26, 20111st step in our progress is blood work. Going in I didn't think I like getting my blood work, maybe its our situation, but I actually didn't mind at all. I even watched the guy take the tubes out and fill up another. He had about 5 tubes to fill up with my blood. I could see the blood pumping out and although I always thought I hated the sight of blood I was happy to be getting my blood work.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
1st visit with Dr. A
Written on Aug. 20, 2011
About a week ago I decided I was going to take a jump and see a infertility specialist. I had a friend recommend one of the best in the area and decided I wanted to make that happen.
Joe has been very supportive of me and doing whatever needs to be done to get our family. We have been so blessed to not have one single student loan (due to baseball scholarship) so we thought it won't hurt to not let the money issue scare us away. This is what we came here for, to have eternal families.
We were so lucky to get an appointment a week later, that is just unheard of in any medical field, so I believe it was fate.
For some reason the night before I woke up at 1:45am and had the worst cramps. I couldn't sleep, I was in pain and I didn't know why (this was in between my cycle, not implanting cramps or anything else I have read up on) after a few hours later and some bathroom trips with a mix up dry-heaving. I was able to get some sleep!
I was so exhausted when I woke up I wasn't even sure if I should go see dr. A.
As the day went on, I got more and more anxious to start this. I got all the paper work together, made even a binder. With all my past medical records and notes and my list of my cycles. I was ready.
Joe and I both said how nervous we were when we got off the elevator. It was the unknown to us. All the Dr. before him have just told me to go home and try again.
It was such a nice office with no one else rushing around. I felt such a piece and was so impressed that he took the whole hour with us. Talked to us, explained everything to us. We decided to start our plan. It was a sense of relief when we left.
I had a feeling coming over me that someday when I leave these doors I'll have a baby in my arms, and I am so grateful for that hope and reassurance.
About a week ago I decided I was going to take a jump and see a infertility specialist. I had a friend recommend one of the best in the area and decided I wanted to make that happen.
Joe has been very supportive of me and doing whatever needs to be done to get our family. We have been so blessed to not have one single student loan (due to baseball scholarship) so we thought it won't hurt to not let the money issue scare us away. This is what we came here for, to have eternal families.
We were so lucky to get an appointment a week later, that is just unheard of in any medical field, so I believe it was fate.
For some reason the night before I woke up at 1:45am and had the worst cramps. I couldn't sleep, I was in pain and I didn't know why (this was in between my cycle, not implanting cramps or anything else I have read up on) after a few hours later and some bathroom trips with a mix up dry-heaving. I was able to get some sleep!
I was so exhausted when I woke up I wasn't even sure if I should go see dr. A.
As the day went on, I got more and more anxious to start this. I got all the paper work together, made even a binder. With all my past medical records and notes and my list of my cycles. I was ready.
Joe and I both said how nervous we were when we got off the elevator. It was the unknown to us. All the Dr. before him have just told me to go home and try again.
It was such a nice office with no one else rushing around. I felt such a piece and was so impressed that he took the whole hour with us. Talked to us, explained everything to us. We decided to start our plan. It was a sense of relief when we left.
I had a feeling coming over me that someday when I leave these doors I'll have a baby in my arms, and I am so grateful for that hope and reassurance.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
In a slump
Hey friends,
Things have been crazy around here. I can not tell you how emotional draining this month has been for me. I'm still undergoing fertility treatments and doing the best I can.
It's a raining day here in CA and I feel like I'm not doing the best that I can. I still hear pregnancy announcements and even though I have worked so hard to feel so happy for these friends I can't help but feel so alone again. Inferitlity Sucks!
love,
Raining day aubrey
Things have been crazy around here. I can not tell you how emotional draining this month has been for me. I'm still undergoing fertility treatments and doing the best I can.
It's a raining day here in CA and I feel like I'm not doing the best that I can. I still hear pregnancy announcements and even though I have worked so hard to feel so happy for these friends I can't help but feel so alone again. Inferitlity Sucks!
love,
Raining day aubrey
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