Journey....I feel like I have used that word so much during these past 2 years. I am in no way saying my situation is like Ani's but she help me to understand how I can heal in moving on with being
pregnant after infertility.
That is where my hurt comes from. I have changed, I have suffered....I am not the person I planed to be or in the place I planed for 3 years ago when I was getting ready to marry Joe.I'm sure most of you have already come to realized this....
we plan for the best and think "that will never happen to me" We try to make our journey a yellow brick road full of joyful days that are so amazing.
My friend talks about losing her baby and feeling like everyone around should knowledge her lost, know what to say and how to say it.
When I read this I thought to myself (beside my heart breaking for her still), that is what I've been feeling inside. Now that people are finding out that I am pregnant I am going out of my way to make sure this hasn't been easy for me or that I had to do fertility treatments (which by the way....sooo grateful for)
I loved when she says that road doesn't exist! It hit me like a ton of bricks! I need to get over this in due time and change myself, my perspective. I can not continues going on still hating other when they announce they are expecting. I will drive myself to misery and loneliness.
She has reminded me....we can't plan for the journey, we must focus on where we want to end up, our destination. One of my favorite EFY themes was Joy in the Journey. That can still apply as I am now learning to have joy in this time and the time before. I can not have Joy if I lose sight of my end.
To continue following her blog go to here.
Also, In memory of Ruby on her birthday they are doing a run in RSM, CA
signing up and showing support!
Click here for her foundation and more information.
2 comments:
Her blog was so beautiful, right? It hit so close to home for me. I need to be a million times better about focusing on the destination. Praying for you and your little baby!
I had a second thought, and I don't know if I'd even consider it a fair thought, but...I sometimes think to myself about how incredibly difficult being pregnant with Blake was, for me, for brett, for our marriage (I was in the hospital on total bedrest from 28-37 weeks, of course far away from all of our family, and they constantly thought he would be born any minute). And I know everyone LOVES their children, no matter how easily they come for some people. But I feel like fighting through it makes me APPRECIATE how much of a miracle he is. Sometimes when we fight so hard for something it makes the sweetness so much greater. And girly, you and your husband have been fighting long and hard and deserve all of the sweetness in the world.
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