Tomorrow morning I go in for a blood test and as excited as I was this morning I have to write down my crazy day....so many ups and downs.
I really woke up thinking we've got this one in the bag. No more fertility drugs and no more waiting for baby #2. During Brinley's morning nap I went to the bathroom and thought I was starting my period. I was so angry and mad. I was going back to my giving up hope feelings. I just had it, I was not looking forward to any of the holidays anymore and I wanted to hide from everyone again.
I informed my hubby and mom, and lost hope.
As the day went on we stayed at home knowing I would starting a heavy period any hour and could be having bad cramps. During Brinley's 2nd nap I watched a good Hallmark Christmas movie. Hour after hour...I was just waiting. And every hour that past I gained more and more hope that maybe I was pregnant. Around dinner time I was feeling confident that I had implanting bleeding (like I did when I got pregnant with Brinley, the only pregnancy I've had). I read everything I could on google and came to realized either my period will come or by morning I'll be at the Dr.'s for a blood test and in 24 hours we will know for sure.
It still is a killer not knowing and I may fall hard back into frustration, but at least now I have hope again.
1 comment:
Hugs. I hope this is it. I'll be praying for you.
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