First Phone call

July 12, 2016-
I was so nervous this past weekend. I had been emailing our (maybe) donors back and forth and I was just praying this wasn't a joke or couldn't believe this was real life. I felt like my prayers were answered, but still felt like my Heavenly Father was wanting me to learn more. It was like he was say...Aubrey, I know you are struggling, I know this is so hard for you and all your prays and fasting for is another baby. I can't give this to you now...but I have this wonderful family for you that want to donate their embies and one day you will carry them they will be your own kids.
It gave me such peace and hope knowing I wasn't just on a waitlist, that someone has reached out to me wanting to bless our lives with something she couldn't think of getting rid of.
If you asked me this weekend what I wanted to do it was to move forward with this as fast as possible. Thank goodness I have such a great man that understands my strengths and weaknesses.  One of those is I can be very impatient and spontaneous.  Sometimes it's a good thing and sometimes it isn't.
He had reminded me that our goal was to have more kids, but our goal wasn't to do it right this second. We had goals to get more financial stable, get more into his new job and feel secure about this job field, work on myself through my therapy in healing my grief with our failed IVFs. and...doing another IVF right away wasn't going to cure me of my baby blues.
With all that said I was so scared that our donor was ready to move forward fast with donating, and that maybe we would get overlook because we weren't ready to accept them right now.
That was exactly opposite of what I found out when she emailed me back and then we started talking on the phone. She is the most sweet, kind and caring person. Her story touched me,  because she knew the pain and heartache, she knew how to talk to me and it gave me so much piece.
Her first email she included some pictures of her family and kids and I couldn't believe how much similar traits we even had. She had blonde hair blue eyes like me, and her husband has brown eyes and hair like my husband. Even though having similar traits like that wasn't at the top of my priority list I found it to be such a blessing and comfort to me.
We both talked about moving forward as more of a close adoption/donation. She would stay up to date with my blog and that is all either one of us needed at the time.
If nothing else I am so grateful for this burst of hope and excitement in my life.