Have you ever cried so hard that you can't breath
you take a deep breath and gasp for air.
I'm feeling that pain all over right now. I can't talk to anyone I just want to cry it all out. My husband is out of town for the weekend so I'm hoping my dog can take care of me during this hard time.
I called my mom because I found out another family member is pregnant. She was trying to help saying I will be happy for her, but I know I can't.
I feel bad, but I have this huge trial I am going through.
My whole life all I have wanted to do is be a mom. I still remember my kindergarten teacher told me I can't just be a mom, and was mad that was all I wanted to do. "get married, have 7 kids and live in Irvine, CA (the only city I knew of).
I felt like I've had patience. I got my schooling done, I went on a mission, I got married and now we can't have kids?? (or at least have not had the opportunity in the last 15 months)
I am heart broken for the moment, I know this feeling can't last.
For the time being we have stopped all test because we are moving and I don't want to start up everything with the clinic out here and not be able to continue in CA.
All I can do is focus on life ahead, and pray that someday soon I will be a mom.
This will not be the last trial I will go through here, but right now it's the hardest one and it's killing me inside. It's breaking me down.
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