I've been saying this to myself since the first month I wasn't pregnant and someone else announced they are expecting....
I should be happy, yes...instead. I just tell my husband "Another one bites the dust"
Well, that is what I would say in my head while I would cry and think how unfair life is. and gosh darn it, life is unfair....so what? That is why we complain.
The Mr and I were talking on a drive somewhere about what I am going to be like when I am pregnant and someone else announces they are expecting. will I drop my sisterhood bond with you lovely infertile ladies and go sour and join the popular club, I mean Mom's club... oh I hope not.
I don't know how I'll be, because I never thought I would be this angry at someone for something I can't have. Oh jealousy gets the best of us sometimes.
So I've decided not to hangout with friends (I'm still open on the blog about my hard times, but talking about it face to face to others is another thing)
It seems like every new friend or old friend I have, if I started hanging out with them its no time at all before I get the big news.....They are expecting. So that leaves me and my hunny home most weekends because I refuse to make friends now, and I'm perfectly okay with that. I'll have time raising kids to have play dates and go to the park and make friends. (sorry ladies, I don't want to watch your belly grow week by week).
Well, Here's to another month....that I go infertile.
3 comments:
I ran across your blog and want you to know that you are not alone. I too have struggled with infertility and know if it's pain. If you ever need someone to vent too- I'm here for you. I think infertility automatically bonds us gals together. I have my angry days and blogging truly does help. Best of luck on your journey- and feel free to email me at brittany.tashjian@phoenix.edu :)
Just another infertile saying hi! It truly is horrible to have. My husband and I adopted a boy this past year and that has brought some healing but infertile self is always there.
It is so true what you said about having friends. I remember when my friends had their first child, then second, and then third. Being left behind was an understatement. We waited 7 and 1/2 years for our miracle. There is a great infertility group where I live that is based off that infertility.org website. Maybe you have one close to you? Those ladies have become some of my closest friends now.
I truly hope your journey isn't long and you get your miracle soon. Hang in there.
Aubs I just found this blog and I am so sorry for how alone you felt. Your words are so brutally honest an perfect.
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