My miracle two year old had the most meltdowns today with screams in the highest pitch. I wanted to scream back at her how much I hurt inside because I can not give her a brother or sister, how hard financial this is taking on her mom and dad. How we have to rely so much on my family right now for a house over our head so we can figure out how to pay for our next treatment. Or who is going to watch her while I drive 45 mins each way to the dr's/ acupuncture, and who can watch her while I'm getting therapy because sometimes, just sometimes I feel like a failure who is all alone. Infertility can make you feel all alone, and while some may say I would wish this all to go away next month and miraculously be pregnant, I don't.
I'm grateful for this trial! would I want to be done with all of this and hope that Christmas time rolls around and I'm pregnant- YES, but I have to live in reality and focus on what I do have and with Brinley and Joe they make me want to be better and a stronger person for the next person that I have to hear is going through the same struggles.
To all those that are feeling like you are alone, I pray for you tonight.
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