Short and not sweet

We had another failed IUI.
Even with great numbers and everything looks perfect for an IUI it didn't work so our Dr. suggested to go on to IVF (In-Vitro).
Right now I'm still in a low place but we are taking a month off to prep my body for IVF and then in March hopefully do that. I'll update more for  me to keep a record of everything when I'm feeling more up to it.
Thanks for all the love and prayers....

Hard Times

The past week has been the hardest on me. There was something that got the ball rolling and then one thing after another and I ran and hide. All I want to do is being alone. I have just a few more days until my blood work but I am scared out of my mind that its going to be negative again, and that will be okay in a few weeks , I will even accept it and I'll be ready to move on.
I just hate this feeling. I try really hard to be in the moment with Brinley but honestly infertility gets the best of you. So here I am venting....

IUI 5...Progesterone levels

Last Friday I went in for my usual 1 week after IUI blood work to see where my progesterone levels where....I was thrilled to see it at 56!! This number has nothing to do if I am or not pregnant, but means my body is giving it the best chance to convince and thats all I can hope for right now.
I need a vacation!

Let the waiting begin...

I've done all I can do...now I will just sit here and wait!

Well, It's always so easy to update the blog after 2 days of IUI because I personally like to come straight home from the Dr. office and lay down as much of the day as I can, relax and help the miracle of IUI take place.
We had great outcome this cycle with the medication, ultrasounds look great, and high five to the husband who did his part and it was great numbers and all. I'm very pleased with this round and I want to say this did the trick...I will say that if it didn't take this round...I don't think anything else will do it but IVF, which we are open and ready for.  We all know follicles that drop don't mean much....but I just have to say for record...we had 4 and if one of those can't make it...well I'm convince my eggs are drying up or something.

We are starting tonight with the progesterone oil shots because I prefer them over the suppositories. So I know have to wait a week for 1st blood test then a week after that a blood test for HCG. Wish us luck!

So so grateful

It's the end of a week and as I lay here in bed and scroll through all the pictures from this week my heart is ready to burst.

When I came home today I had a FedEx package waiting for me. I got everything out and took a picture to text it to the hubby. We are working so very hard to have another child and doing all we can and I am so happy I have bags of neddles and medicine to help us. I don't know when it will happen but I see this picture and feel overwhelm of gratitude for our next child. 

So instead of saying things like thirds a charm or this is our round.... Here's to everything that will help get us to our next pregnancy. Because we aren't ready to stop our family from growing.

Round 5: IUI

Happy New Year

2014

We actually had a really nice break from treatment last month and I wasn't focus on what day is what and when to do shots and if I was feeling any symptoms. Perfect to enjoy our holidays. 

Well, I started a new cycle and had my 2nd ultrasound today. We are staying with the follistism shots and upping my dosage. After todays' ultrasound Dr. A decided to keep my dosage up for another few days...I know and understand we are taking a risk trying to have more eggs this time than the usual 2, but we are so willing to do so, and might I add we are under a fantastic Dr and heavily monitored. Don't worry, I know that I won't be the next octomom, and I still may not even get pregnant. This is just the game of infertility. 

1st break from treatmets

I was bummed this morning when my cycle started again and bummed again when I found out the ONLY 4 days my Dr's office is close the whole year (365 DAYS)  will be right in the middle of my next treatment, making it not ideal to start any medication this round.
I can look at all the negative about this but I'm trying to stay positive and enjoy Christmas time with Brin and my hubby. We also have our 5 year anniversary coming up right after the New Year so we are going to jump on our tradition of a sushi dinner and maybe a quick getaway.
Well, see you back in 2014!

Failed IUI round 4

I didn't even come on this blog all last cycle because I'm just getting depressed writing over and over again that things are working. I know someday I will get pregnant again because we will do anything we can and even go into adoption when the time is right, but for down I am really bummed out.
Here's just a recap of our 4th IUI with injectables:
I love love love doing the injectables over taking clomid. I didn't have any side effects and it was more pleasant. I ovulated a lot earlier than any time before and we did the IUI on days CD 10, & 11. Back to back IUI's with great numbers too...everything was looking great! I had 2 follicles, one on each side and they were measuring well over 21mm. In every way possible, again I thought this was the one. I was sending good vibes to everyone and doing seriously ALL I COULD. and maybe that is just it.
This time my Dr had me start progesterone suppositories every morning and every night. They go right up your yang yag. It is not so pleasant at all, but this help keeps the uterus lining strong and not shed (bleed). Therefor I knew no matter what I would go in on Friday, Dec. 13 to do blood work.
I went in this morning and had to bring my daughter with me, which was very quick and easy as they took my blood. I asked her if I could switch to the progesterone oil shots because I liked them better and my insurance still covers that. The nurse was so nice to call it in to the pharmacy. Then later that afternoon, one of my favorite nurses had to call and give me the news I did not want to hear. I was so bummed and still am. She told me my progesterone was not back down to zero so it would be a few days before my period would actually come back.
oh the joys of infertility. Thank you for all your love and support, we will get through this, but I'm sure this next round being over Christmas and New Years I may not do much blogging.

Failed IUI round 3

Just when I had hope and was so positive, I woke up this morning and once I got out of bed and started getting dress to head into my blood test, I started my cycle!

Blah!

Starting a new round now, but this time I'm excited. My dr. likes to try 3 round of clomid and iui with trigger shot and u/s to monitor everything. Then if that doesn't work, (like us now) He does  3 more rounds of iui but this time we are using a newer drug, injectables. I don't know much about it but those that have done ivf do because it's the same medicine just a lower dose. Even though I though I was being closely monitored with all my previous IUI's I talked to the nurse and she told me what it will be like this time around and its crazy more! Like every other day ultrasounds and blood work then after half way its a daily ultrasound and blood work. 

I'm going crazy!!!

Tomorrow morning I go in for a blood test and as excited as I was this morning I have to write down my crazy day....so many ups and downs.
I really woke up thinking we've got this one in the bag. No more fertility drugs and no more waiting for baby #2. During Brinley's morning nap I went to the bathroom and thought I was starting my period. I was so angry and mad. I was going back to my giving up hope feelings. I just had it, I was not looking forward to any of the holidays anymore and I wanted to hide from everyone again.
I informed my hubby and mom, and lost hope.
As the day went on we stayed at home knowing I would starting a heavy period any hour and could be having bad cramps. During Brinley's 2nd nap I watched a good Hallmark Christmas movie. Hour after hour...I was just waiting. And every hour that past I gained more and more hope that maybe I was pregnant. Around dinner time I was feeling confident that I had implanting bleeding (like I did when I got pregnant with Brinley, the only pregnancy I've had). I read everything I could on google and came to realized either my period will come or by morning I'll be at the Dr.'s for a blood test and in 24 hours we will know for sure.
It still is a killer not knowing and I may fall hard back into frustration, but at least now I have hope again.

symptoms

Remember last cycle I posted about my headache and nausea symptoms here.
Well, I woke up this morning with the same thing...it started with a headache...one I thought I could handle. I just wanted to rest it off until Bryn woke up.
I got her up and feed her breakfast and it just kept getting worse and worse. Then I took a small dose of meds. with crackers (don't' mind that I tried some holiday M&M's and a slip of caffeine to see if that would do the trick first).
Then the nausea came on, and I grabbed a bowl and poor Bryn had to watch me throw up. blah, it was pretty awful.  My mom convinced me to take more meds and that did the trick.
By the time I put Bryn down for her 1st nap of the day I was feeling symptom free!
Thank goodness.

Progesterone levels round 3

I took my progesterone blood work this morning and not to my surprise it came back good, 22. ONE MORE WEEK until HCG blood work!!!! whoo hoo!

7 Days past IUI

I hate to guess symptoms and stuff, but I just have to say this morning I had major cramping. This is great news!!

round 3....IUI's

I don't know why but this time around I just don't feel like writing. Maybe, I don't have any new news to share. It's all been said and done before and by now I'm just sounding like a broken record with no outcome.
Well, we had 2 IUI's back to back this time and I'm just resting away. It the dreaded 2 Week Wait now.

Grow baby grow

Today we went in for the 1st ultrasound after clomid and they can tell a lot by this. My uterus lining looks great and I have 1 perfect follicle and another medium size and a few baby ones. Since 1 looks like its ready to ovulate they decided to give me the HCG shot  today and go back in tomorrow for the 1st IUI. I'm really excited because this was they way my body was handling it when I was able to get pregnant with Brinley so I'm  hoping we can achieve a pregnancy again!