National Infertility Awareness week 2014

Last year I was so excited to have some of my close friends guest blog about their journey through infertility.
1. Elise- IVF ICSI twins
2. Kenzi- Hoping to adopt 
3. Brittany- "Baby Deklan"
4. Kenda- Finding their Journey

Just a personal update on them;
1. The Johnson's twins just turned 3 today!!! They are doing so good and I actually got to give them their 1st haircuts a few weeks ago!
2. Kenzi and Nate adopt a beautiful baby girl and gushes over her daily on instagram and I love it!!
3. Deklan is almost 2 now and with more embryos to transfer he wouldn't be a only child for much longer since they hope to grow there family.
4. Kendra is preparing her body for their 1st IVF and very hopeful and positive.

Prayers daily for everyone out there struggling through infertility one way or another.

6th Ultrasound and day on 2:2 IUI (Intrauterine Insemination)

The ultrasound this morning showed no more follicle, which means sometime between yesterdays IUI and today I ovulated! This is the best outcome so far. I now have the 2 week wait before I go in for my blood test. The next 3 days I try to lay completely flat and rest as much as possible. Every time you have a failed treatment you get more and more conservative. I have stopped drinking soda and go on bed rest for more like 4 days.

I saw this on youtube.com of a wonderful couple that just had there 1st baby after 2 years of infertility struggles and failed IUI. It's just a great video that might make you cry because all those that go through infertility have the same struggle and may hit you close to home.
Here's there link: Big News

5th Ultrasound and day on 1:2 IUI (Intrauterine Insemination)

On IUI days I have to wake up early and get Joe's swimmers to the office at 7am. My mom was nice enough to come with me today while my sister stayed home and babysat Brinley. The ultrasound was first and showed that I have not yet ovulated (great sign for me) so I will come back in tomorrow to have a 2nd IUI.
Joe had great numbers for his sample for him. 24 Million swimmers are now all in me and I am just laying on my bum for as long as I can, thanks to my hubby, mom & sis.

4th Ultrasound and blood work

I came in today and Dr. Anderson was back from vacation. He looked at my chart and came in my room and said "well, it looks like you won't be having twins" commenting on my 1 and only follicle growing. He said I was ready for an IUI because the 1 was grew a lot just overnight. So the nurse gave me the HCG shot and sent me on my way.

3rd Ultrasound and Blood work

Came in for my blood work and ultrasound, the 1 follicle grew a little bit more. Nothing else has been happening.

2nd ultrasound and blood work

Sunday morning I drove into Newport Beach to his second office. I still had been taking 150 follistim and felt condfient things were happening.

I was disappoint once again when all the could see was the 1 on the left size that was growing. I know that sounds dumb, but when you are going through treatments you always hope more is better. I had 4 follicles when I had brinley so 1 doesn't always mean 1 baby, or 2 doesn't means twins. 

I was sad again when they wanted me to come back in tomorrow.

Usually when you start going in everyday it's close to your IUI, and I want more follicle to grow before the IUI. 

Oh well, I'll take my meds again tonight and go in tomorrow for another ultrasound and be so glad I have 1 follicle that is growing and hope this works for us.

1st ultrasound

I went in Friday and only had one follicle over 10, it was still small and early on but I was a bit disappoint in my ovaries.

And we are off....

I have read it all over the internet (everyone has the worst painful periods after the Lap/Hys surgery) but I was in such denial that I wouldn't be the same. Well, Sunday morning came and I was hit with what I like to call "Kidney Stone " pains. I was taking my left over pain meds  from the surgery to help but once again I woke up at 4am Monday morning with horrible pain. I woke up my husband to get me some water and ibuprofen and he thankfully brought me that with some crackers.
After calling in to the office and talking with the nurse, I made my first ultrasound appt for this round...always on cycle day (CD) 3. That night you always start the medication too. He put me on 150 of Follistim, which I was happily surprise. Go big or Go home is my thought process this time around.
Follistim is infertility GOLD.
and if you don't have any infertility insurance is cost as much as gold I hear.
**Side note***
2 of the BIGGEST blessings have happened
1. Its only April and we have met our out of pocket for our insurance.
2. When we thought we were going straight to IVF we requested the paper that breaks down our infertility insurance and how much we have used on it....We thought doing IVF would put us close to our $30,000 max lifetime, boy we're we shocked when it said we have only used $500. worth of that amount. Makes me want to have 8 kids just to use every ounce of our insurance because not many people have it and I truly wish I could share that right now with some other loved ones going through this.

Back to my IUI round....
I started my shots on day 3 and will do them for 3 nights at the same time for the same dosage then go back in for the ultrasound and blood work. The ultrasound will start measuring how big the follicles are getting and the blood work looks out my estrogen levels to tract ovulation too.
wait....seriously tell me again how someone gets pregnant on a one night stand, I just don't believe it right now.
We are in the very happy, good days moods now. I love doing the shots and just dreaming about being pregnant again and how everyday Brinley gets old the better of a big sister helper she will be to me.
Did I mention
We are Excited!!

Round 6

I'm ready for this!

We have moved on to our 6th round of IUI with Follistim for Baby #2. 

This is no joke to us

 I've been meaning to post more but I'm just not in the sharing, writing kind of mood.

Being April 1st today I saw this...

And after seeing someone on IG harmlessly post a April fools joke that they are pregnant. I decided to vent on here and say it hurts throughout the year seeing those ultrasound pic, but especially on April 1st when they think it's some kind of joke. 

Hope you find some kind pranks to do on onthers today.

Laparoscopy

I felt like I have slept all weekend long. I'm still recovering from my laparoscopy that happened just 3 days ago. I'm still foggy and under some pain killers so I'm sure this post will sounds like someone is loopy!

Day of Laparoscopy

Friday morning I had to check in at 11am at the Newport Beach Center. I had been fasting since last night but was fighting a huge headache.  Joe and I drove out there and were ready to get this done. I got there and the waiting room was empty. I finished paying and filling out paper work. They took me back to change into a hospital gown, get my blood pressure, pregnancy test, and weight.

Pre-op area

 After that they got me in bed in the pre-op area and Joe came back to keep me company until they were ready to take me to the room. The hardest part was the head ache I had from grinding my teeth at night and not being able to take anything in the morning, so I was ready to have them put me out!! 

I also talked with my anesthesiologist about how every time I go under I wake up throwing up. He was very nice and assured me he would do his best to keep me not vomiting. It was really relaxing then, I got my IV and started with fluids. Dr. Anderson came back to let Joe know he would come out after and let him know how it went. He also said it should be about 30 mins.

Laparoscopy
They start off by going through your belly button with the camera and then if they need to do more they make 2 more incisions...here's a little what was going on... 

Post-op

 Next thing I knew I was waking up and going in and out of it. I wasn't feeling nausea at all so I kept trying to sleep more. When I started feeling more pain they were able to give me some med threw my IV. When I was fully awake Dr. A came over and said he talked with Joe about everything but he was shocked and he found a lot of Endometriosis it took him longer than he planed, but was able to treat and clean it all out. This is great news to know I have been suffering all this time with this and found the hidden explanation to our infertility. 

What's next?

As for whats next well...so far I have heard of everyone opinion but the one that matters most is my Dr. and I go in again on Friday to see him and discuses it all.  

So for the rest of the week I'm keeping to myself and staying up on my meds and bed rest. Because he had to clean out a lot more it took almost 2 hours so my recovery time is a bit harder and longer. 

For now this sweet girl is helping us study up on our new condition. 

IVF Consultation & Laparoscopy

Last week  my husband and I went in for our consultation with our RE, Dr. It was good sitting down with him and talking about our goal. We knew we were going to start up IVF as soon as we could and started to look forward to this process.

He quickly talked about our history and then mention laparoscopy surgery then moved on to how we would do IVF. We talked about my cycle days and what my calendar would look like. I also learned  that my Dr has done a lot of studies and test that have found in the past 3 years that you have a greater success rate doing a frozen transfer (FET) and not a fresh transfer because it gives your body a month after the egg retrieval and your body has a break from all the drugs you use to producee so many eggs, which means the IVF is a 2 months processes. 1st month you have all these drugs to help make your body produce anywhere from 10-20 eggs, then retrieve them all, then wait until your cycle comes the next month and when it's time for a natural egg to drop they implant 1 embryo.

It didn't help that our family planed and booked a vacation to Hawaii beginning of May for my Dad's 60th Birthday and Dr. A said their is no way he will do an IVF transfer the month before Hawaii and let me go on a plane when I need to be monitored closely. 

One reason why I love our Dr. is he knows the importance in working with your natural cycle and not putting me on birth control before IVF to group me in a certain time table for him, but that will work best with my body.   

There was just so much information and a lot only has to due with me as a patient. Not every person will have the same map to achieve pregnancy as me and that's why its always good to follow your dr's suggestions. 

He educated us about PGS (Pre-implantation genetic screening) read more here.Then I asked him point blank, well you are my Dr...what do you recommend we do next? He said well I was the one that brought up Laparoscopy, since we have achieved one pregnancy through IUI, and you have no physical change to why it shouldn't work again we should do the laparoscopy to see if their is anything going on, like Endometriosis, scar tissue, cyst, fiber tumors..etc....
Doing the laparoscopy is also a treatment that can clean everything out if he finds something wrong...that could actually help us get pregnant doing an IUI after.  If not we just move on the following month for our IVF and egg retrieval.

Many are familiar with Laparoscopy and even have had it done to achieve a pregnancy. It is the only way to medical confirm you have Endometriosis, which I never thought I really had, but after reading a lot, thanks Google, many women never have the symptoms I thought you had to have. It will first be looked at to see the outside of the uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries, and internal pelvic area. Then if something like scar tissue or more is found it can be treated.

Both my husband and I feel really good about doing this first, so after talking, praying I called the nurse the next morning and since it has to be done between your 5th-12th day after you start your period I have to time it out. So one week from  today I'll go in for the laparoscopy. 

We have the 2 opinions after that and although I keep thinking on which one should we do, Joe and I have decided that we will decided AFTER Dr. A goes in for the laparoscopy. 

I am so grateful for such a great dr that is crazy smart. We learned so much about how he does IVF. 

I called my friend after who had IVF from Dr. A back in 2011 and we talked and found out soo much has changed in the short amount of time! The things they have learned are fascinating to me and I will continue to study everything about IVF to know more. 

On top of all of this I'm trying to change everything to better myself to take this whole process on. I'm seeing a therapist for infertility and work on how to deal with the ups and downs, also the huge jealously, guilt and pain. 

I started back at the gym and my daughter absolutely loves the daycare there so we try to go every other day because I know after we do the transfer and all through the first trimester my dr does not allow any exercise. So I feel like I need to get it in while I can. 

The last but most important is my nutrition. I'm the worst at this but it's so much easy to think this will only hurt any chances to have another baby if I eat this donut or drink this soda.

To help my mind set and support I started reading a book again called 

infertility; help, hope and healing that I read back when we first started trying and I'm grateful for great reading that is more uplifting. Also another infertility blogger recommends another book for IVF that I plan to read next called Infertility Inferschmility.

So here's to my next few months

Short and not sweet

We had another failed IUI.
Even with great numbers and everything looks perfect for an IUI it didn't work so our Dr. suggested to go on to IVF (In-Vitro).
Right now I'm still in a low place but we are taking a month off to prep my body for IVF and then in March hopefully do that. I'll update more for  me to keep a record of everything when I'm feeling more up to it.
Thanks for all the love and prayers....

Hard Times

The past week has been the hardest on me. There was something that got the ball rolling and then one thing after another and I ran and hide. All I want to do is being alone. I have just a few more days until my blood work but I am scared out of my mind that its going to be negative again, and that will be okay in a few weeks , I will even accept it and I'll be ready to move on.
I just hate this feeling. I try really hard to be in the moment with Brinley but honestly infertility gets the best of you. So here I am venting....

IUI 5...Progesterone levels

Last Friday I went in for my usual 1 week after IUI blood work to see where my progesterone levels where....I was thrilled to see it at 56!! This number has nothing to do if I am or not pregnant, but means my body is giving it the best chance to convince and thats all I can hope for right now.
I need a vacation!